I believe that my life is a series of patterns. When I look back 13 years, I felt amazing. I had just graduated with a business degree, I had a great job, and I was training for a marathon – I, who had always been terrible at endurance running. I felt capable and strong, like nothing could hold me back.
I look ahead two years and things had changed drastically. I had had a mental breakdown while working as a foreign missionary (in part due to walking six days a week on an injury that had resulted from my marathon), and I was barely functional. I could take a shower and eat meals and that was about all I could muster on a daily basis. My confidence was shattered, but I was still struggling to get back on top of my life. I started running again, and slowly I started to feel like myself.
Another two years later, I had just got married and gone back to work after my first stress leave. A month later I broke my foot, and it took six weeks to find the fracture, and consequently six months to heal. As a result, I ended up quitting my job because of the impossible commute. I was under tremendous financial and emotional stress, and I was completely demoralized. I was still battling depression, and I was an endorphin junkie who could no longer run. The weight just piled on, and I felt I had completely lost touch with the person I’d been four years before. I felt utterly weak and defeated.
The years went by and I struggled with my weight, sometimes winning, sometimes losing. Then in June of last year I had my son. All of a sudden life felt brighter and clearer than it had for many years. I found that I was no longer content just to be alive. I really wanted to live, and to live a long time. I started looking ahead to the major events in Seth’s life and I knew I wanted to be there for all of them. I saw my mother declining into Alzheimer’s and I knew I wanted to do everything I could to prevent that from happening to me, or at least from happening to me before 60. I wanted so badly to bring Seth up without instilling my bad habits by setting a bad example. I wanted our relationship to be based on doing things outside together, instead of watching movies on the couch. I wanted him to grow up knowing his mother was healthy and strong, not sad and defeated.
A friend, who I was with in the hospital as we had our babies the same day, posted her before and after photos online after doing the Winter Fitness Challenge. She had some significant health challenges, and yet she looked so strong and healthy. I saw her photos and decided to do the same thing. I had always hated being in gyms (I preferred to be outside) but I so badly wanted to jumpstart my weight loss and get to the point where I could run again without everything hurting. I was open to learning new eating habits that would help me make better choices for Seth. That led me to World Health and Kyle.
Kyle is an amazing personal trainer. I feel that this challenge has been worth every dime and every second that both me (and indirectly my husband) have put into it because not only have I lost weight and become healthier, but I really, for the first time in my life, feel like I have the tools to go forward and continue to live the lifestyle that Kyle’s program has instilled. I want badly to see my husband do the same thing on the next round, so that he can feel that way, too. I watch Seth eating his squash and asparagus and I am so glad that I did this. I know that I am on the path to setting the foundation for him that I want to establish. I am comfortable in a gym like never before, I am stronger than I’ve ever been, and I feel better than I ever have. I’m comfortable with the new routine and I like it.
I went for a run on Saturday night and I was amazed at my strength, despite the fact that I still have a lot of weight to lose. Finally I knew I could say that I’ve done a 180 in this life pattern, and I am truly, after many years, coming back to myself.